Being born with all my joints dislocated, bound to a wheelchair, spending most of my childhood and adult life in hospitals, recovering from heart, spine and eye surgeries, dying over and over in emergency rooms, coming back to life, going through long bouts of extreme pain, isolation, exclusion and neglect, you may think life has beaten me into the pessimism of nihilism haha, when in fact I have become the opposite. No matter how much life has broken me externally, my soul has been persistent in rebuilding me better internally. Each time my heart stopped, I swear... my capacity for love grew.

The more I suffered, the more I could see the hurt in eyes which meet mine. The silent screams people hide behind a social mask of shame, only transparent to those with empathy, as the norm is to literally mask our collective pain. The more eyes I see, the clearer a vision has become in my heart. A vision of a world, built not on the surface of bandaged pain, but connected at the depths of love mended with kindness and understanding.

All factors in my life had stripped me away from the herd, for me to recognize my true self. At my core I discovered, I am love. So full of love in fact, that if I did not start giving it away, I felt like I was going to explode! Growing up I was programmed with limiting beliefs involving interacting with others because of my disabilities, spending money and suppressing my authentic self. This created fears of approaching people, giving compliments, being generous with money or anything like that, but this last year I was determined to overcome these.

I am now living on my own with access to independently roll around town for the first time in my life. As I had increased encounters with people in my everyday routine, I had more opportunities to let out the love stored within my heart. I started small, making sure I always gave people compliments when the thoughts popped into my head. If I felt awkward or fearful, I would think back on this specific, but brief memory. Six years ago, when I was a junior in college at Portland State, I was sitting outside in my powerchair, getting drenched in the stormy weather, waiting to get picked up to go home after class. At this time, I was dying on and off in the ER from heart problems, as well as in the middle of going through a series of 12 eye surgeries fighting to save my eyes from going completely blind, even though I was currently legally blind… long story haha. I was severely depressed and honestly had not been given a compliment or shown an act of kindness in a long time. As my tears blended in with the rain, not to be dramatic, a woman who I could barely see approached me as she was walking by and said, “Nice shoes!” It was so simple, yet so impactful! I mean I wanted to kill myself so badly that day. Uhhhh, just the relief of having it all finally be over! But, that one compliment, man that one compliment… really got me. She didn’t have to say that, she chose to. Someone made the conscious decision to be kind. My shoes were some blue worn out faux leather shoes my mom got me from Target years ago. They were nothing special, but in that moment, with her intention, she made them special! She made me… feel special. That is power, a power I will never forget. I now recognize this power within me. The power to do good with the simple meaning of words. So ya, every time I get the opportunity to give someone a compliment, I make damn sure I do!

As the year progressed, one day in the grocery store, as I rolled by a bunch of bouquets of roses, a faint but direct voice echoed inside me, “buy roses and give them out to people.” The old version of Michael would have brushed that off as a crazy intrusive thought, but I examined the thought for a second longer and the idea made me smile. Why would it be crazy to spread kindness? Isn’t being kind a good thing? I had the opportunity to transform myself and uplift others. I pushed through the limiting belief of being awkward, bought the roses, and gave them out throughout the store to women young and old alike. I gave them each a compliment, while expressing they are worthy of everything their heart desires. The reactions varied from a simple thank you, to complete shock that anyone would actually do this, while others cried tears of joy giving me hugs. Some of the women had been praying to God the night before, for any sign that something good can happen, instead of bad. On that day, I got to be that something good. When I told friends and family what I did, I was primarily told I am wasting money. My response was, “They were twelve dollars?” I realized then how little it took to truly make a lasting impact in someone’s life, while most people get trapped on the idea that $12 to make someone cry tears of joy is a waste of money? So, I made it a habit to go around town giving out flowers to people once a week.

To help break my limiting belief about being generous with money, I wanted to tip someone $100. I decided to give it to a waitress who was very kind to me previous times she had waited on me. When I gave it to her she was emotional and told me she was praying in the shower before work, for a clear sign from God, that good things can happen and that I answered her prayer. Several months later, I ran into her at the local grocery store and she gave me a big hug with a smile. She told me she decided not to spend it and instead frame it. Every time she needs good luck or a reminder good things can happen, she looks at my gift as a symbol of what’s possible. To me, that is worth a hell of a lot more, than $100!

Fast forward to this December. I had an intuitive thought to dress up as Santa for the holidays, buy as many presents as I can and give them out for free to every person I see around town. So over the weekend leading up to Christmas, I did. As I took pictures with people and gave out hugs with the presents, I could see people light up realizing that there was no catch. I didn’t want any money from them, I just wanted them to understand, random good things can happen too! We all have the power to be the possibility for positivity, demonstrating that the world does not have to be a place focused on fear and hate. We can all choose to be the best of ourselves and express that in whatever form it takes. At our core we all want love and we are all worthy of it!

The more acts of kindness I did, the weirder it became to me, that we live in a world where being kind is not always the norm. The more I opened my heart and pushed through fear, it felt like I was rebelling against something. Which led me to write this quote, “To rebel with an open heart, is the start of all true revolutions.” When I shared this quote with my friends and family and quotes I write like this, they make fun of me saying, “Who do you think you are Jesus Christ?” Which doesn’t really make sense to me because isn’t the goal for everyone to embody his teachings and not just talk about what he did? So, I decided to start wearing all white around them, to egg them on, cause why not haha. I like being kind, it’s who I am.

I love being the possibility of positivity. Using my freewill to choose to be the best of myself, inspiring the best out of others. God that’s just everything…

We are who we choose to be, but if you listen to your heart, I guarantee the choice has already been made. Our wounds are the portals we enter, to meet others as an empathetic mirror, catalyzing our shared inner healing, expressed with acts of kindness.

As people have discovered my comedy sets online, where I use my wounds to make fun of the absurdity of my disabilities, many people have posted comments and privately messaged me, about how my comedy changed their lives. People telling me that they were thinking about killing themselves that day, but they came across a clip of mine where I’m joking about my situation with my wheelchair and they thought, if he can make fun of his situation, what am I doing? It fills my heart with gratitude to know that my comedy has saved lives because I was able to overcome the fear of being vulnerable. Sometimes all we need is a perspective shift in knowing we are not alone in our struggles with life.

I have learned, when we are singled out in life, we are given the opportunity to lead by example. The loneliest part about being lonely, is choosing to be alone, when shining our uniqueness is what attracts our tribe. Even if we feel misunderstood, hurt, betrayed or powerless, our hearts must stay open. Lean into the best case scenario and embody it. Go full force into the joy of loving yourself, mirroring the love to others!

I realized when we settle in life to appease the people around us, meaning staying within the confines of external perceptions of us due to fear of being misunderstood, as well as the fear of responsibility which comes from taking on the task of being our best self, entire worlds of potential good are destroyed.

I refuse to settle, accepting that the world has to be a cruel and dangerous place. One thing I know for certain, something I’ll never regret, is spreading love and kindness. The power of love can be unlocked within each of us through acts of kindness. Kindness ripples through the collective, demonstrating, despite random negative events happening, the possibility of good exists because people choose to embody it purposefully. An act of kindness inspires the start of a new pattern of possibility, which cycles upward into heaven instead of downward into hell.

There is a better way… and it’s within us all.

Let it out!

With Love,

Michael The Chairman (Michael Beauchamp)